You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

Date/Time: Wednesday, February 27 2002 at 09:50
Cast: Click here for list of characters.
Quote: "Imagination is more important than knowledge..." -Albert Einstein
Listening to: Song 2 by Blur


It really annoys me when teachers make us accept their opinions as facts. We're having sex education for Health class right--only my teacher calls it population education. It's so sad; we're so repressed in my school that we can't even use the word "sex". Did you know that sex education wasn't allowed in Catholic schools until recently? Guess too many Catholic school girls graduated not know what penises and vaginas were used for, aside from urination. I think that's really stupid. I hate it when people can't even talk about sex objectively and with an open mind. People here always relate sex to something dirty, and a lot of people in my class think I'm a total slut because I know about things like blowjobs and 69. Which I learned not from experience but from reading and from having objective conversations about sex with more reasonable people. Apparently it's no use explaining that to my extremely open-minded classmates...anyway, I digress.

Now that we were all through discussing the menstrual cycle and how sperms are formed (which I knew since I was like, eight), we discussed the chapter that listed was on how to cure infertility and sterility. There was this sentence in the book that my teacher read aloud. It went something like, "Because of certain deformities in the female reproductive system (i.e. inverted uteruses), doctors have to prescribe certain sexual positions the couple may use so as to avoid infertility." Finally, something applicable, I thought, rolling my eyes. I swear, I wish we took up more practical things in school. Like I need to know where the seminifurous tubules are located in order to have an interesting and exciting, erm, white wedding night.

Everybody else in the class as well grew more lively and less sleepy when the words "sexual positions" were mentioned. My teacher noticed this and snickered. She's somewhat a sadist, my Health teacher. "I'm glad to see that you're all awake right now," she said, somewhat sarcastically. "Before you all start thinking dirty thoughts, I'd like to stress that doing these sexual positions should be done when prescribed by the doctor only. If you do them without medical advice, then you have a perverted mind. Don't you know that that is a sin?"

My jaw totally dropped when she said that. "Even though you're married?" I blurted out, feeling totally incredelous.

"Even if you're married," she said self-righteously. My Health teacher, the Right Hand of God.

What she said totally pissed me off. Okay, so maybe this means I have a perverted mind but I admit it--when I get married I am going to have sex 24/7. And there's no way I am just going to lie on my back the entire time! And besides, I'll be married by then so I know for sure that doing sexual positions is not a sin. I mean, there won't be any animals or a third party involved. Even though I am somewhat liberated, I still believe in the sacredness of sex. I guess my teacher just doesn't realize that not all people are as sexually cold and unadventurous as she is. She isn't married yet; maybe she's just upset she'll never get to know what doggie style feels like.

Oh well. I just felt like ranting about it.

Lauryn is a fifteen-year old girl who lives in the Philippines . She is a junior at a private, Catholic all-girls school run by nuns and she hates it there because the nuns are too strict and cos a lot of the girls are not her kind of people. She prefers the rain to the sun and would never be caught dead in wide-leg pants. When she isn't at the mall, at a friend's house, in Spanish, voice or swimming class, she is at home playing PlayStation games, talking on the phone, watching TV, reading and rotting in front of the computer. She hates to be a Xerox copy of everyone else which is why she never every buys stuff from the trendy stores at the mall (what a shame, the clothes can be really cute too). She has shoulder-length black hair and pretty eyes.

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